I don't know if this is me letting go.. moving on... giving up... I really don't know.
My life is filled with mixed emotions everyday. Being sad, disbelief, lonely.. then there was hatred and anger too. But all the hatred and anger was long gone.
I wish you would just make things easier for me.
I don't know why you are ignoring/ avoiding me. All I want is to get all my stuff back once and for all.
I miss you.
Im constantly going back to the same place.
Hving lots of mood swings... Some days I'm fine and some days I'm down.
I'm sorry and thankful to my friends who have alw been here for me :)
I keep reminding myself everyday, this little voice in me, "stay calm. stay calm. life is better than this, life will get better."
I want to be able to talk to you calmly and properly. Control my emotions. No tears, no swollen eyes, no sarcastic tone, no temper.
Really hope to get honesty from you too.
It's been close to two months... I can't believe it.
I really would love to see you but at the same time, I'm scared, I'm scared to face the sad truth.
I don't know if I'm ready, but then again.. I will never be ready.
I thought I was getting better...
But I'm not. The feelings are all coming back again.
Thank you for being a good part of my life.
Im sorry I cannot be a good part of yours.
I can be tough
I can be strong
But with you, It's not like that at all
Theres a girl who gives a shit
Behind this wall
You just walk through it
And I remember all those crazy thing you said
You left them running through my head
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here
All those crazy things we did
Didn't think about it just went with it
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here
Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
Here, Here, Here
I wish you were here
Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
Near, Near, Near
I wish you were here.
I love the way you are
It's who I am don't have to try hard
We always say, Say like it is
And the truth is that I really miss
All those crazy thing you said
You left them running through my head
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here
All those crazy things we did
Didn't think about it just went with it
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here
Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
Here, Here, Here
I wish you were here
Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
Near, Near, Near
I wish you were here.
No, I don't wanna let go
I just wanna let you know
That I never wanna let go
Let go, Oh, Oh,
No, I don't wanna let go
I just wanna let you know
That I never wanna let go
Let go, Let go, Let go...
Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
Here, Here, Here
I wish you were here
Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
Near, Near, Near
I wish you were here.
My decision to meet you today was.... I just felt that it didnt make me feel better or worse. I just didnt want to continue holding on to hope which might not even be there.
I really dont know whether you were being nice, so as to make this easier for me or..
But this is the 2nd time I ever see you tear, in our whole r/s. (apart fr your pop)
You're forever going to be apart of me...
Fyi, Im not letting go. I want you in my life.
Im still fighting silently.
Im really afraid that if I initiate a text or call or meeting you, I'll push you further.
Jul, are you coming back?
Shld I text you? Shld I call you?
I miss you, don't you miss me too?
I miss our babyboy Kiwi too. Does seeing him remind you of me?
Did you put all my things away?
Do you sleep with Mr. Bean?
What have you been doing?
Do you really mean what you said? Letting us go?
Are you happy without me?
Was this 5yrs nothing to you?
